Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You did what with his pubic hair?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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