please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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