If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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