you traded sex for a burrito?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
