are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
