What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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