I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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