My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
