So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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