We're like a lot better than the average bears
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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