ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
