its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
