Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
