ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
