So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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