Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
