Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
