just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize