i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
