now i know why i became what i already was.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
