I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
