he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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