my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
