Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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