Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.

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(646): View more from New York

Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?

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(719): View more from Colorado

just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?

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(402): View more from Nebraska

birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.

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(510): View more from California

but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.

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(916): View more from California

I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.

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(313): View more from Michigan

She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......

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(910): View more from North Carolina

When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?

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(662): View more from Mississippi

Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.

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