I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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