do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
