May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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