i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
