wake up i wanna do it froggy style
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
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