This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
