i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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