yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Randomize
