for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize