Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize