So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize