he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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