I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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