Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I can tuck mytits in my pants
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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