these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
