Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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