He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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