After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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