All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
