We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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