yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
