he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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