he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
