why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
