He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
