I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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