so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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