remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I FOUND THE LEGS
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
