You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize