Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize