I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
wow bdsm is so cute
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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