Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
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