at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize