he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
