Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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