We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize