we have pet lesbian snakes
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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